Clarifying Family Goals: How to Define, Share, and Record Your Vision

Defining goals and intentions in an estate plan is a critical step to ensure heirs understand the reasoning behind your decisions and the values you hope to preserve. Clearly communicating your goals and intentions can minimize misunderstandings, reduce potential conflicts, and foster a shared sense of purpose among family members. 

Create a Family Mission Statement

The estate planning process ultimately begins with you. Begin by identifying your overarching goals for the estate plan. 

Ask yourself questions such as:

• • What do I hope to achieve through the transfer of my assets? 
  • Are there specific values or lessons I want to pass on to future generations?
  • How do I want my wealth to impact my heirs’ lives—financially, emotionally, and socially?

Common objectives include: Providing financial security for loved ones, encouraging responsibility and independence among heirs, preserving family traditions and legacy, and supporting philanthropic causes that align with personal or family values.

Next, draft a brief mission statement. A mission statement serves as a guiding principle for the plan and communicates the "why" behind your decisions. For example:

• • Our family estate plan is designed to ensure financial security for future generations while fostering personal responsibility and stewardship.
    
    
  • I want to provide resources for my children and grandchildren to pursue education and entrepreneurship, while also supporting charitable organizations that reflect our family’s values.

Share this mission statement in discussions with heirs or in family meetings. Consider keeping a copy of it along with the rest of your formal estate planning documents. 

Communicate your objectives clearly with heirs

While the ultimate decisions are yours, involving heirs in the planning process can provide valuable insight and promote alignment. Consider:

• • Hosting family meeting to share your goals and intentions.
    
    
  • Allowing heirs to ask questions or provide feedback.
    
    
  • Using advisors (e.g., financial planners or family mediators) to help facilitate these conversations.

While discussing your estate planning goals with your heirs, be transparent. Explain the specific goals you have for the distribution and use of your assets:

• Lifestyle Support: Are the assets intended to fund daily living expenses, retirement, or specific life goals?
  
  
• Education and Development: Are there funds earmarked for education, skill-building, or professional growth?
  
  
• Business Succession: Are you passing on a family business? If so, how do you envision its management and growth?
  
  
• Charitable Giving: Are there philanthropic goals or family foundations that heirs should help manage?
  
  
• Explain Your Views on Equal vs Fair Distributions (if applicable): If assets are distributed equally (the same amount to all heirs), explain why that approach aligns with your intentions. If distributions differ based on individual needs or circumstances (e.g., your plan contemplates that one heir has a disability and will likely need more than other heirs, or that another has already received substantial support), explain the reasoning to help avoid future potential confusion or strife amongst heirs. 
  
  

While discussing your goals during a family meeting, keep in mind that estate planning discussions in general can evoke strong emotions. Approach these conversations with empathy:

• • Acknowledge that wealth transfer may bring feelings of gratitude, anxiety, or even resentment.
    
    
  • Emphasize that your decisions reflect careful thought and your desire to create a positive impact.
    
    
  • If there are concerns raised, listen and reflect on how those concerns may inform/change how you execute your estate plan.

Document Your Intentions

Having a discussion like this can be overwhelming for both parties. To help with this, in addition to verbal communication, many find it helpful to include informal documentation of these wishes along with formal estate planning documents. Some examples of this include:

• Sharing a copy of the family “mission statement” with family members.
  
  
• Attaching a letter of intent or ethical will to your estate documents. 
  • An ethical will is a non-legal document that allows individuals to pass down personal values, life lessons, beliefs, and wishes to their loved ones. 
  • Unlike a legal will, an ethical will does not distribute assets but focuses on sharing intangible values and legacies.
    
    
• Including informal guidance about specific assets (e.g., family heirlooms, charitable contributions) and how they should be treated.

While not legally binding, an ethical will gives you the ability to express your wishes regarding the use of a specific asset.

Note: an ethical will and similar informal documentation should be viewed as supplements (not substitutes) to formal estate planning documents such as wills or trusts. 

As life circumstances change (e.g., births, marriages, divorces, or shifts in financial goals), revisit your plan to ensure your goals remain relevant. Communicate updates to heirs to keep them informed.

Collaborate with your wealth planning team, an estate planning attorney, or a family consultant to articulate and document your intentions clearly. These professionals can help ensure that your goals are effectively communicated and facilitate an open, honest dialogue amongst the family.

Conclusion

Defining goals and intentions for heirs in an estate plan is about more than transferring assets; it’s about communicating values, preserving a legacy, and fostering understanding. Through clear articulation, open communication, and proper documentation, families can ensure their wishes are honored while promoting harmony and stewardship among heirs.